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| im due within three or four weeks
im most likely not going to last that long though
so yeah
maybe two weeks
i dunno
but the kid should be coming soon
which is good
im in pain
im sick at the moment
my throat hurts
and my pelvic bones are hurting
my belly hurts as well
im just in pain
shitty shitty
oh well
xxxLucretia
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| im having a boy.
his name shall be Xavier Drake
my belly is the maximum hugeness
but my baby is alright.
<3
xxxLucretia
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| so my prego belly is getting quite the bigness
but s'all good
atleast my baby is growing
he or she is currently rolling around in my belly...
and it is lifting my belly up
it feels ... so weird
but its cool
it makes me happy
except when the kid karate chops me in the bladder
that is what hurts
cause it makes me feel like i have to pee
but then when i go to the bathroom
i dont pee
its crazy
and funny all at the same time
but yeah
im 7 and a half months now
and ive been told a lot
that im smaller than i should be
like my belly is not big enough to be 7 and a half months
but thats kind of good
cause that means
im not gaining too much fat
and my baby might not be extremely huge when it comes out
and that will be good
yesh yesh
twill
i hope i have a pretty baby
twould make me most happy
yesh yesh
<3
xxxLUcretia
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| so yesterday was horrible
i set myself up for heartache.... again.
well
all i did was go with my sister megan
to go get my two neices at my other sisters house
well...
we had to wait on chad to bring the car seats there
so we were sitting there
and then he gets there
ashley goes outside
and she comes back in and says
"vernon's here"
my heart...
fell to the floor for a moment
then i was like.
"can i hit him?"
"cant i just punch him in the face ?"
can i kick him in the face?"
ofcorse ashley said no
but i wanted to so badly
then io was just sitting there
and he walks inside finally
at first he was just hiding from me i know
and then he comes inside
and goes to the back of the house
ofcorse
duh
and then he walks by again
the whole time
my heart is beating really fast
im out of breath
i thhought i was going to die
(anxiety attack yo!)
it was bad
then he walked by again
and went outside again
and i cried
ofcorse
i cant hold shit back anymore
with him atleast
and i cried
hysterically
it was sad
ashley came and put her arms around me and
told me not to cry
i could not stop
i just kept crying harder
she told me not to cry for vernon
he's not worth it
but i couldnt stop
it only got worse and worse
then she was like
alright i guess you all want to go now
so as i was walking outside
he was on the front porch thing
and yeah
i just tried not to cry in front of him atleast
but it kept coming out
but it was silent so he couldnt hear
im glad it was dark
or he would have been able to see how pathetic i am
its no good
im terribly sad now
i cant help but keep crying over this boy
and all he did was walk inside a door and walk by me and walk out
..............i mean come on
im just a dumb bitch
and i cant get over this boy if it were the last thing i did
its just..................stupid
how freaking attached i am to him
id die for him
id kill for him
id beat the shit out of anyone for him
id do anything for him basically
and i still cant quite figure out why..............................
THE END
xxxLucretia
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| so i IMed vernon telling him that mom said
even if he is the dad i might as well forget about my kid actually having a dad
he hasnt texted me back yet
but im waiting
the other day i made gravy
i was prous of myself
and i just happen to think of vernons mom
how she makes everything from scratch
and its all homemade and junk
well
i was like
man if vernon knew i made this homemade
hed be proud
well...
moms reply was
why cant you just get him out of your head
okay first of all
it was his mom that was in my head
and i was mainly talking about his mom
i know what i said didnt sound like it
but i was talking about his mother
man im eating some combos right now and they are SO GOOD
i may be likeing someone at the moment
its not dustin
i cant like dustin ever again
because i just...
its complicated
and i know the reason
and i dont have to explin it to anyone else
so shut the fuck up
but yeha i may possibly be likeing someone at the moment
he is so nice
and cool
and nice
and.... nice
<3
xxxLUcretia
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